Backwoods Etiquette Top 10

10)  Don’t trespass

9)  Don’t throw a cigarette butt down and start a forest fire

8)  Don’t be loud (no radios, please!), unless you need to speak audibly to members of your group simply to let wildlife know your presence (especially bears)

7)  Don’t do your business within 200 feet of a stream, river or lake (dig a six-inch hole and bury everything if it’s Number 2)

6)  Don’t litter

5)  Don’t destroy or maim other plants

4)  Don’t feed, touch or harass wildlife (no matter how darn cute all those helpless newborns in the woods are at this time of year!) 

3)  Don’t mark morel motherload areas on public lands with “No Trespassing,” Private,” or “Keep Out” signs! 

2)  Don’t steal morels from other morel hunters as you trick them to look the other way

And Number One on the Backwoods Etiquette top ten list:  Don’t ask a morel hunter to show you his or her “hot spots!”

As Mike explains, “It is kind of like someone asking you for your credit card number or access to your bank account.”  Fred explains that asking someone the location of their prime morel hunting grounds is downright sacreligious, and he’s not giving his up anytime soon.  “When I die I might tell someone my mushroom spots,” he says.   

Roon John advises, ““Do not ask roons for the exact location of a morel find.  However, it is entirely proper to attempt to read their minds.” 

Frank points out that failure to follow the ten commandments of morel hunting could result in your being classified as an Azzholus Woodlandi, which is a slang term for those who do not respect the woods or other hunters!   

But Frank is a really nice guy, so he posted a great morel hunting spot on his web site page http://www.michiganmorels.com/morels1.shtml.  It’s in a state forest where you can pick a bushel in about three hours.  Wink wink, nudge nudge!